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How to Help a Friend With an Eating Disorder

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Eating disorders can be hard to talk about. They can be even harder to talk about when youā€™re concerned about a friend. Starting the conversation and connecting a friend to resources is important in getting them the help need.

Dr. Dana Udall, a psychologist who works with college students, shares tips for talking with a friend who might be struggling and where to find support.

What is an eating disorder?

Eating disorders are serious conditions that can affect oneā€™s physical and emotional well-being. The impacts of an eating disorder can reach over into oneā€™s work, academics, relationships, and social life. They can develop because of negative self-image, but can also be used as a way to regulate emotions.

If youā€™re concerned about a friend, having a conversation is the first place to start.

How do I share my concerns with a friend?

Early intervention is important in helping a friend recover. Here are some tips for starting the conversation:

  • Pick a time when you can talk to your friend one-on-one. Find somewhere comfortable and private and make sure thereā€™s enough time for the conversation.
  • Take responsibility for your own feelings and use ā€œIā€ statements like ā€œIā€™m concerned thatā€¦ā€ or ā€œIā€™m worried about you becauseā€¦ā€
  • Avoid commenting on your friendā€™s weight or appearance, even positively. Comments like ā€œYou look great,ā€ or ā€œYou donā€™t need to lose weight,ā€ can reinforce negative behaviors.

Allowing time for your friend to process and respond to the conversation can help them feel supported. Approaching the conversation mindfully and compassionately can go a long way towards getting them the help they need. If it doesnā€™t go as planned, itā€™s still important to continue to be an ally and connect them to resources.

What kind of resources are there?

Wardenburg Health Services provides on-campusĢżassessment and treatmentĢżfor students struggling with issues related to eating disorders, food, weight and body image.

More information about eating disorders is available on theĢżĢż·É±š²ś²õ¾±³Ł±š.

To find community and hear one personā€™s journey to recovery, join CAPS and theĢżĢżfor an event featuring author Kara Richardson Whitely on Wednesday, March 1 at 7:00 p.m. in Koelbel 210.

About the Expert

Udall holds a PhD from the University of Southern California and has extensive experience in the area of eating disorders and body image. She trained at the Renfrew Center and Belmont Behavioral Health before becoming a Senior Staff Psychologist at the Eating Disorders Treatment Center in Albuquerque, NM. In addition, Udall maintained a private practice for nearly a decade in which she specialized in eating disorders, adolescent development, and the coming out process for GLBTQ youth.