Written by Stanley Ly, MA, LPC, FSAP Director

In the coming days and weeks, we’ll learn intimately about our friends and colleagues who were directly impacted by the Front Range fires, including those who lost their homes entirely. In the ugly wake of this devastation, we as a community must do everything in our power to reassure those who must now rebuild a life after disaster that they are not alone, and that they will not be forgotten. We can do this by showing up for our friends and colleagues.

If you find yourself in a position to reach out and offer support, below are nine ways to offer help. I’ve tried to offer a diverse array of tips to support that fall within varying resources, means, abilities, and skill sets.

Above all, rather than letting the thought slide, I hope that your compassionate longing to help is acted upon. The kindness from friends, colleagues, and strangers is the healing that we need right now.

Be a safe space for feelings

Listen for understanding. Manage your own discomfort to avoid implicitly asking your friend to have to manage your discomfort as well as their own feelings. Resist the temptation to “offer the bright side,” which can often feel invalidating or minimizing.

Listening for understanding means setting aside your own agenda so that you may be fully present in creating emotional safety for your friend.

Here are some suggestions for what to say if you’re struggling to find the right words:

“What is on your heart and mind today?”
“Thank you for sharing truthfully how you’re feeling. I’m here for you.”
“What feels overwhelming today? I care about you and want to help how I can.”

It’s commonly known that survivors of disasters may observe an initial flood of support followed by a very sudden drop-off after the news cycle moves on.

To help assuage your concerning thoughts, “Is it too late for me to just now say something? What if I bring up a bad memory?” My advice is this: if compassion is driving your longing to reach out, do not withhold that gift. Reach out, show up, and be prepared to listen with understanding and respect their “Not right now, thank you” if you hear it. Manage your discomfort and have gratitude for the fact that your friend trusts you enough that you can handle their “No.” Thank them and ask if they would like another outreach sometime later.

Help with debris clearing

If you are invited and able, and local authorities clear access for your friend to sift through ashes, you can be an anchor for them as they potentially go through waves of intense emotions.

One’s home is precious and filled with sacred memories and experiences. Treat the grounds of their home with respect and care. Allow them to take the lead in directing you and providing guidelines for where and what you should be going through.

Be as prepared to work in quiet if necessary as much as you are prepared to stop everything to provide emotional support. Remember what it means to be invited to this space.

Please always seek and follow guidelines outlined by local emergency services before engaging with debris clearing—there may be harmful toxins you need to protect against.

Donate something that they love and need

Donations are wonderful, but at a time when life has gone back to basics and world is spinning too quickly, your friend does not need another box to sort through or drop off at a donation site themselves because it does not serve their needs.

It is one thing to receive a precious warm winter jacket that makes someone feel cozy and cared for because their favorite jacket was lost, and it’s another to receive boxes of used and seemingly random items that they have neither time nor space to manage.

You can probably assume some things are required: money and meals. But for everything else, how can you know what they need most? Ask.

Be very intentional and conscientious if you are donating used items. If offering to purchase brand new items, do your best to fulfill for them exactly what is desired, or offer gift cards if you’re uncertain.

Offer childcare and dependent-care support

Parents and those who have dependent-care responsibilities, say for an aging parent or a sibling with disabilities, could benefit tremendously from a few hours of uninterrupted and guilt-free time.

Children may be experiencing shock, despair, and confusion, and may need affection and comfort. You can help your friend’s children feel loved by taking them out for a meal and treat, play a game with them, or invite them over for arts and crafts, movie night, or a playdate or sleepover with your family. This has the extra added benefit of allowing parents to work without having their attention split between their kids and navigating other responsibilities.

For friends who have adult-aged dependents living with them, you may be able to provide support in several ways. For instance, you can take them to their medical appointments or therapies, fix a meal for them to enjoy, or just spend time providing care.

Your friend may contend that it’s too much additional work to instruct you on the intricacies for how to care for their family member for just a one-off event. If you cannot commit to weekly or monthly caregiving, perhaps you can offer to help organize a small group of people willing to provide support. You can help by typing up your friend’s care guidelines, thus preventing them from having to reteach each next caregiver.

Offer to help with practical needs, like moving and cleaning

Your friend may have to relocate multiple times before landing in a semi-permanent living arrangement, which means multiple times they’re having to pack and unpack. Lend your vehicle to help with the moving process. Trade the weights you lift weekly at the gym for boxes and supplies for a day or two.

You can help make their living situation more welcoming by coming in with cleaning supplies and polishing up their temporary abode. A place can feel much more amenable when it feels clean. Or if you’ve got skills troubleshooting home appliances, you can make a world’s difference by repairing a downed dishwasher for family with children, for instance.

Help with administrative duties

The less enticing but often overwhelming other side of disaster and tragedy is paperwork and administration. Those who lost their homes in a fire will need to engage with insurance companies and their policies, hire contractors, deal with banks and mortgage companies, speak with lawyers, coordinate with utility companies, and replace government-issued documents at least.

As part of the process of recouping losses, your friend will likely need to complete a personal property inventory, which can be a daunting and emotionally shattering task.

Help your friend by helping them to create structure to the inventory process. This will help prevent overwhelm. You can do this by imposing breaks or meals to break up the stress, or by doing some prior research into their insurance company so it’s known what information is necessary to file a claim. Offer to do portions of the paperwork or inventory yourself. Whatever you can do to alleviate some of the burden could be a massive lift of stress off their shoulders.

Ask how you can help even if you are not local

Your friend’s neighbors or local friends may themselves be comprised if they were affected as well. Distant support can become that much more valuable as a result. If you find yourself in this position, ask directly and specifically for a list of ways you can help. You may also have your own ideas, like organizing meal or gift card donations. Recruit your own local community to help when appropriate as well.

Remembering important anniversaries throughout the years, like birthdays and holidays, and contributing in ways to honor those days can also be very special for normalizing the occasion. Anniversaries are particularly great ways to remind their children that they are thought of and loved.

Help with language translation, as well as policy and tech translation

If speaking, reading, and writing fluently in multiple languages is your gift, you may be able to be a metaphoric flashlight in the darkness to someone who is not fluent in English and needs now to navigate complex insurance and government policies and processes that are often English-centric.

Additionally, the language that policies and laws are written is incredibly challenging to most laypeople. If you are skilled in “translating” this language, you may be able to alleviate a great overwhelm for your friend as you help them to understand their insurance policies, file paperwork and documents, and apply for eligible benefits. The same can be said for online applications or processes that might be unfamiliar to those who don’t engage with electronic means of communication regularly.

Show up for them, again and again and again. It’s not too late

Your friend may say, “I don’t want to be a burden.” Or maybe, “It’s okay—you’ve done too much already.” Your job is to both respect their wishes and to remind them, again and again and again, that you are there for them. But please only say so if you are prepared to act upon that promise—and it is just that: a promise to show up. “Showing up” can mean being there physically, emotionally, and/or energetically.

You can save a lot of hurt by living up to your promises or offering solutions when you cannot.

Losing a home is potentially a multiple-year-long endeavor to recoup. Even when someone is in a new permanent home situation and is seeing financial recuperation, scars from emotional trauma may linger for adults and children.

Your friendship and kindness mean more than ever in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. They may not always have the capacity to reciprocate your kindness or patience, and you must understand how trauma sustained stress and anxiety can whittle down a person’s fortitude.

Practice compassion and understanding long after the debris is cleared, and your kindness will be the grounds from which your friend and the community can rebuild and heal.

Lastly, a word of gratitude to firefighters and emergency first responders who work tirelessly to protect what we hold most dear in our lives: the safety and well-being of our families and friends, animals, homes, and community.

About the Author

Stanley Ly (he, him, his) is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Director of the Faculty and Staff Assistance Program at University of Colorado Boulder. In 2014, he provided psychological first aid to individuals affected by the floods in Boulder County. Since 2007, he has worked with sexual assault survivors, youth with neurological disabilities, and individuals experiencing psychiatric emergencies in hospitals, jails, and the community.

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The University of Colorado Boulder’s Inclusive Hiring Practices for Faculty and Staff Program has received the College and University Professional Association for Human �ƹ���Ƶ (CUPA-HR) 2022 Inclusion Cultivates Excellence Award.

This award recognizes and celebrates institutional initiatives and programs that have made a significant impact with respect to inclusive and equitable workplace practices, particularly those that have brought about cultural change throughout the organization. Thanks to the generous support of EyeMed, CUPA-HR is pleased to offer a $5,000 contribution to the University of Colorado Boulder’s endowment fund or a scholarship selected by the recipients.

The goal of the Inclusive Hiring Practice for Faculty and Staff Program was to develop a research-based, industry-leading approach to training, and a way to support more inclusive search practices on the Boulder campus. The program also aims to ensure every person involved in the hiring process has received training and/or has an inclusive search expert working directly with them throughout the search process.

The outcomes of the program have shown an overall increase in employees of color on campus in addition to an increase in the number of diverse applicants and hires applying for faculty appointments. Andy Horovitz, CU Boulder’s director of talent acquisition shared in the program’s nomination, “Data has been a powerful tool for our campus to see the effects of our training and expertise to help yield a broader pool of candidates for our search processes and the outcomes of increasing employees of color on campus. While our HR team has always been fully integrated into supporting staff searches for the campus, being involved with faculty hiring was a big change. Because of our work with DEI training for faculty hiring committees, faculty have requested additional consultation and collaboration with HR on all aspects of the search process.”

About CUPA-HR

CUPA-HR is higher ed HR. We serve higher education by providing the knowledge, resources, advocacy and connections to achieve organizational and workforce excellence. Headquartered in Knoxville, Tennessee, and serving more than 33,000 HR professionals and other campus leaders at nearly 2,000 member institutions and organizations around the country and abroad, the association offers learning and professional development programs, higher education workforce data, extensive online resources and just-in-time regulatory and legislative information.

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Application deadline: By 12:00 a.m. on Friday, July 15, 2022.

Click to apply.

Since 1987, the University Perspective program has developed and deepened the leadership capacity of staff on the University of Colorado Boulder campus. Participants gain firsthand knowledge of the university through meetings with senior leaders on the Boulder campus and each of the other three campuses in the CU System and the CU System Office. The program is sponsored by Organizational and Employee Development (OED) in the Department of Human �ƹ���Ƶ. Applications are being accepted for the 2022-23 program.

Learn More About the University Perspective Program

Program Information

• Duration: The University Perspective program is a nine-month program that runs from September 2022 through May 2023.
• Format: We anticipate a hybrid program, combining both in-person and virtual events based on leadership preference and availability. In person events and meetings will happen in accordance with CU Boulder event and meeting guidelines at that time.
• Schedule: The schedule of program topics is posted here. The University Perspective program is a robust yearlong experience. You can plan on spending 4-8 hours per month participating in program activities and meetings from September through May.

How to Apply

• Completed applications must be received by Human �ƹ���Ƶ by Friday, July 15 at 12:00 a.m. The is a Google form. No additional letters or documentation besides the application will be required or accepted.
• Applications will be reviewed and final selections made by the applicant’s Division leadership. The University Perspective program manager will notify applicants of their status in mid-August, prior to the start of the fall semester.

What We Require

• Be a staff member at CU Boulder
• Have support of immediate Supervisor to participate in the program
• Be able to fully participate in all program sessions (estimated to be a time commitment of 4 to 8 hours per month from September 2022 through May 2023)

What We Would Like You to Have

Ideal candidates for this program possess one or more of these characteristics:

• Current and emerging leaders who are advancing in their career and who intend to continue to work in higher education
• Mid-level managers who have come to the university from outside higher education
• Experienced professionals prepared to learn about and appreciate how the university functions as a complex organization, and how their role relates and contributes to the organization

Who to Contact

For questions, contact the University Perspective Program Manager:

Alyssa Willet, M.Ed.

Senior Training and Development Specialist
University Perspective Program Manager
Department of Human �ƹ���Ƶ
alyssa.willet@colorado.edu

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You can use your Bright Horizons Back-Up Care™ benefit to book a day or more at summer camps and programs*. Colorado camps include:

• Summer Explorations at Bright Horizons
  • Your child can experiment with science and technology, engage in the creative arts, discover nature, and more — all through fun and educational activities led by experienced teachers.
• Steve & Kate’s Camp 
  • Here, kids are in charge of their own experience. Activities include performing arts, sports and recreation, water play, pie throwing, and so much more. 
• Summer Fun With Kids SmART
  • When school’s out for summer vacation, count on Kids SmART for your child care needs! As part of our summer camp program, your child will meet new friends and participate in our weekly activities, including Water Day, Wheels Day, and even an optional field trip!

How do I make a reservation?

1. Visit the and create an account using your employee ID (if you do not know your Employee ID, you can look it up in MyCUInfo). 

2. Create your care profile:
   • Employee profile: Provide your relevant contact and employment information.
   • Care recipients: Enter your relationship, care location(s), and health information, and download/complete any required care forms. Some forms may take extra time to complete so we recommend starting as early as possible. 
   • Authorized contacts: Add any adults (e.g., spouse/partner, grandparent, friend) as emergency contacts and/or individuals who are authorized to pick up care recipients.
   • Care locations: You can choose locations near your home and/or along your work route.
3. When ready, make a reservation for care.
   1. Select a reason for care and care recipients. 
   2. Enter when and where you need care. 
   3. Search available care options: 
      • You can switch between “Center-based Care” and “In-Home Care” using the buttons on the top left. 
      • Tip: Under search criteria, you can choose a “camps only” option which will filter to only summer camps. Keep in mind that some facilities are not labeled as camps but do have summer programs. 
   4. If “instant book” is not available, the reservation will need to be reviewed by a Bright Horizons Care Consultant. Under each center is a “Set My Preference” option. Choose your 1st, 2nd, 3rd and any unacceptable choices. 
   5. Continue on to verify information, review the reservation and submit the request. 

*Subject to space availability. Eligible camps are determined by Bright Horizons and searchable in the reservation system. Instant booking may not be available for all locations, plan as far ahead as possible.

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Learn more about your Bright Horizons benefits and access expert-led events throughout the year. All webinars are available on-demand after the live event date. Note: The webinar registration page is in Eastern Time, below is converted to Mountain Time. 

Learn More About Your Bright Horizons Benefit

Family Webinars 

Discovery Driven Learning 
Tuesday, April 26 at 12:30 p.m. MT 
Hands-on, minds-on — that’s how children learn best. Hear why learning through play is so important and find out how Discovery Driven Learning™ creates a foundation for early education at Bright Horizons. 

What Working Parents Need to Succeed 
Tuesday, May 24 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
What’s on working parents’ minds? We asked, you told us. Tune in as we reveal our annual research from this year’s Bright Horizons Modern Family Index. 

Teaching Kids About Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion 
Tuesday, June 28 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
Encouraging young children to appreciate the beauty of differences makes them less likely to hold biases and discriminate later on in life. Learn how to help your child build the skills needed to embrace diversity. 

Go Outside and Play! 
Tuesday, July 19 at 12:30 p.m. MT 
Outdoor play: it’s more than a breath of fresh air. Find out how it contributes to your child’s imagination, encourages healthy risk taking, builds resilience and confidence, and inspires STEM skills.

Returning to Work After Parental Leave 
Tuesday, August 23 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
Headed back to work after spending time at home with a new baby? Whether you’re feeling anxious, stressed, guilty, excited — or all of the above — we’ve got strategies you can use to prepare for the logistics and mental load of it all.

Managing Screen Time in the Digital World 
Thursday, September 22 at 10:30 a.m. MT  
Remote school and video chats have made screen time more normal at an early age. Learn how to negotiate screen time for your child, set healthy boundaries, and navigate your increasingly digital life. 
 

Building Healthy Eating Habits for Life 
Wednesday, October 26 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
Nutrition impacts so much: mood, energy, focus, and more. Plus, it’s especially important for your child’s development. Find out how to work around cost, busy schedules, and picky eaters to build healthy habits for life. 

The Sandwich Generation Stress 
Wednesday, November 16 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
No matter where your elder loved ones live, caregiving logistics can be a lot to manage — especially on top of caring for your child. Watch to learn how to navigate your emotions and responsibilities…and where to find help.

Becoming a Resilient Parent 
Tuesday, December 13 at 1:00 p.m. MT 
We don’t have to tell you that the work-family balancing act is a challenge — you’re living it. In this webinar, we’ll give you some stress-relief strategies to help build your resilience. 

Bright Horizons Benefit Overview

Bright Horizons Back-Up Care, Virtual Tutoring & Enhanced Family Supports  
Your Bright Horizons Back-Up Care™ and Bright Horizons Enhanced Family Supports™ benefits can help you find quality care and help for other family needs. Plus, use back-up care in a flexible way to reserve virtual tutoring for children ages 5-18.

• Summer Support: Wednesday, May 18, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Summer Support: Wednesday, June 22, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Wednesday, July 20, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Thursday, August 18, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Wednesday, October 19, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Wednesday, November 16, 10:00 a.m. MT |

Bright Horizons Back-Up Care & Enhanced Family Supports 
Bright Horizons Back-Up Care™ and Bright Horizons Enhanced Family Supports™ can help you find quality care and help for other family needs. Join any of the webinars below to learn about the support available to you each season. 

• Summer Support: Tuesday, May 10, 11:00 a.m. MT |
• Summer Support: Tuesday, June 14, 11:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Tuesday, July 12, 11:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Wednesday, August 10, 11:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Tuesday, October 11, 11:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Tuesday, November 8, 11:00 a.m. MT |

Bright Horizons Back-Up Care 
Whether you need child, adult, or elder care, your Bright Horizons Back-Up Care™ benefit is here to help.

• Summer Support: Tuesday, May 17, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Summer Support: Tuesday, June 21, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Tuesday, July 19, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• Back to School: Wednesday, August 17, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Tuesday, October 18, 10:00 a.m. MT |
• End of Year: Tuesday, November 15, 10:00 a.m. MT |

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Summer hours for the Boulder campus will be 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., effective Monday, May 9 through Saturday, August 13. On Sunday, August 14 the Boulder campus will return to its regular operating hours of 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

These hours apply to employees working on campus. Offices that are student, employee, or customer facing should attempt to maintain a consistent schedule allowing for in-person services to be provided to those constituents, particularly during periods or hours of high demand.

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What makes higher education different from other types of organizations and industries? What are the different employee “cultures” in an institution of higher education and what do they value? How are decisions made in higher ed? What do we mean by shared governance? Why does it take so long to get things done? These and many other questions about working in an institution of higher education will be answered in this CU Discover program. 

Date: Friday, April 15
Time: 12:00 - 1:00 p.m.
Location: Virtual, Zoom link sent after registration

Presenter: Merna Jacobsen, PhD.: Interim Chief Human �ƹ���Ƶ Officer; Associate Vice Chancellor of Organization and Employee Development, Department of Human �ƹ���Ƶ

Merna Jacobsen, PhD, SPHR has over 35 years of Higher Education administrative experience. Merna’s main focus is employee learning and organization development. She is passionate about and believes in the power of facilitation to enable groups to reach their goals and transform relationships. Merna has a  PhD in Educational Human Resource Development, from Texas A&M University; a Master of Arts in Speech Communication from the University of Northern Colorado and a Bachelor of Science in Secondary Education from Montana State University.

About Organization & Employee Development

Organization & Employee Development (OED) in the Department of Human �ƹ���Ƶ provides training and facilitation for individuals and intact teams throughout the Boulder campus. OED courses range from leadership development to workplace skills, and are designed to build skills and knowledge in workplace trends and needs. Organization Development Specialists provide a range of services including strategic planning, problem solving, retreat design and facilitation, team development, and conflict resolution.

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We are calling upon our campus partners as our community navigates this most recent event to help:  

• If you haven't already done so, take a moment to reach out to your employees or collagues to check in. It can be as simple as asking how they are doing. 
• If you have an employee impacted by the Marshall Fire disaster, please be mindful not to overwhelm them with too many points of contact. We recommend working with your department HR professional to establish a coordinated contact effort.
• We ask supervisors to be flexible with employees during this time. Flexibility may be needed not only by those directly impacted, but also those helping to support family and friends who experienced loss during the Marshall Fire disaster. 

Leave

As was communicated, Chancellor DiStefano is providing additional emergency leave and workplace flexibility for individuals directly impacted by the Marshall Fires disaster. Individuals impacted by the Marshall Fire disaster should review the Leave Options in Event of a Natural Disaster or Local Emergency Page.

Many employees are asking how to donate leave to the Leave Sharing Program or directly to a colleague. The leave sharing fund is currently healthy and no additional donations are needed at this time. Direct donation to an individual is not an available option. 

Emergency Fund

CU Boulder community members impacted may apply for emergency funds via the Student Emergency Fund and Staff & Faculty Emergency Fund.

Funds were created to provide support for CU Boulder students, staff, researchers, and faculty who are experiencing an emergency situation that creates a financial hardship. Emergency funding is provided in the form of a one-time grant which does not need to be repaid.

Support & Wellbeing

It is perfectly normal to experience a heightened sense of worry and alertness. Individuals finding that worries are detrimental to basic functioning or those that are needing to process the traumatic event, should consider  reaching out to a close friend, trusted community leader or professional counselor. 

The Faculty and Staff Assistance Program (FSAP) offers counseling and consulting services to employees, both in-person and via telehealth. Services are free to CU Boulder employees.

FSAP has also created a list of 9 tips for helping those who lost their homes in the Marshall Fire.

For Those That Want to Help

For those that would like to volunteer, officials recommend visiting the 

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