The power of speaking up
CU Arts & Sciences grad Erika Krouse wins prestigious Edgar Award for true-crime memoir about CUās early 2000s sexual-assault scandal
hardly fits the romantic, literary or cinematic stereotype of a private eye, a gumshoe, a sleuth. But sheās got an ace up her sleeve that even Sam Spade, Miss Marple and Sherlock Holmes couldnāt play: People canāt seem to stop themselves from revealing their secrets to her.Ģż
āI became a private investigator because of my face,ā writes Krouse (MEnglā96) in her 2022 true-crime-memoir mashup, "." āGive me twenty minutes alone with you, and youāll ā¦ tell me all your secrets.āĢż
In April, more than two decades after her first case as a private eye, University of Colorado Boulder graduate Krouse received the prestigious Edgar Allen Poe Award (aka Edgar) in the from the Mystery Writers of America for Tell Me Everything. In addition, announced June 10 that the book had the Colorado Book Award for Creative Nonfiction.ĢżĢż
But in 2002, she was a struggling author scraping by on temp jobs in Boulder, so as not to crimp her writing time. Though sheād published one well-received short-story collection, it hardly set her writing career on fire. Meanwhile, at one job, her name tag read āTEMPā and employees referred to her blithely as āthe new Linda.āĢżĢż
Author Erika Krouse's experiences as a private investigator helped inspire her to write ""
Thatās about the time Krouse reached for a Paul Auster novel at the Boulder Book Store at the same time as a local attorney. After a laugh and a brief literary exchange, the lawyer found himself confessing how much he hated his job as a partner in a local law firm.ĢżĢż
āWait,ā says the attorney, dubbed āGraysonā in the memoir. āIāve never told anybody this stuff.ā Perceiving Krouseās unique talent, he offered her a job on the spot as a private investigator.ĢżĢż
āI didnāt want a job that would take all my writing time away,ā she says. āBut the PI job paid so much more than I was making. And it was an amazingly cool job as opposed to data entry or accounting.āĢż
Krouse bumbled through her first six months on the job (āI wondered why he was still paying me,ā she says with a laugh) before Grayson asked her to delve into an ugly sexual-assault case involving CU Boulder football players. (Krouse uses pseudonyms throughout the book, and names neither the city or university, preferring to let her details do the talkingāhow many Colorado college towns, after all, rest beneath āthe Flatironsā?)Ģż
Suddenly, she found her groove as a gumshoe, finding, interviewing and convincing assault survivors and witnesses to speak with Grayson on the record for the case.Ģż
āIt probably helped that I was female, that I was younger, compared to (Grayson). I wasnāt a stuffy lawyer in a suit and I didnāt even own heels. So I was a little bit more like the women I was talking to,ā she says.Ģż
Krouseās hard work would go on to play a key role in the nationās first Title IX sexual-assault case, which resulted in a multi-million-dollar settlement and a slew of resignations all the way up to then-CU-system president Elizabeth Hoffman.ĢżĢż
(Krouse quotes just one transcript in the book: Hoffmanās notorious claim that the anti-female slur often referred to as the āc-wordā can be āused as a term of endearmentāāāThe extent they tried to cover up was so ludicrous,ā Krouse says. āThat quote was too good not to use; no one would have believed me otherwise!ā)ĢżĢżĢż
For years, Krouse had no intention of writing about the case. But she changed her mind after reading a well-regarded history of Title IX that failed to even mention the precedent-setting CU case.ĢżĢż
āHow can you not mention the first Title IX sexual-assault case?ā she says. āThe case was complicated, with so many twists and turns, and really needed a book of its own.āĢż
Krouse's true-crime memoirĢżincludes a precedent-setting sexual assault case involving CU Boulder athletes as well as her own experiences.
She also had no intention of including the story of her own sexual abuse between the ages of 4 and 7 at the hands of a man dubbed āX,ā which she had revealed to few people outside her family. But working on the book gave her a renewed appreciation for the young women who came forward in the CU Boulder case, most of whom stood to gain nothing materially.ĢżĢż
āI thought, āOh my God, these women risked everything, their futures, safety, privacy, the other people in their lives, their relationships with their families and peers to do this, but Iām going to be a big chicken?āā she recalls. āI knew that I wouldnāt have integrity if I didnāt also include my personal history.āĢż
Criticsāand Edgar votersāenthusiastically responded to Krouseās dual approach.Ģż
ā(W)hat began as one womanās justice becomes a battle Krouse fights against her own inner demons that eloquently contends with systemic issues still plaguing American institutions today,ā wrote Publisherās Weekly. āThe emotional catharsis delivered by the bookās end turns this sensational tale into a stunning story of redemption and hope.āĢż
Krouse remains estranged from the family members who have denied, invalidated and disputed her accounts of being raped as a child since she was 4 years old. But she recognizes that telling the truth can help others.Ģż
The CU Boulder case āstarted with one party, and by the end 11 women came forward willing to go on the record about being assaulted by football players,ā she says. āOnce you start talking, so many people who have been silent about their own experience feel they can start talking and find far more allies than you can imagine. Thatās the power of narrative, the power of speaking up.āĢż
Krouse was so sure someone else would take the Edgar Award in her category that she didnāt even write a speech, she says.Ģż
āI was shocked and completely unprepared,ā says Krouse, who is currently polishing up a second short-story collection for publication. āI babbled like an idiot and cried a lot, but I donāt remember what I said.āĢż
After her first experience with the Mystery Writers of AmericaāāThey are my kind of people!āāsheās mulling over ideas for a mystery novel.ĢżĢż
āThere was glamor, but an unpretentious, fun kind of glam; sequins and heels, but also writers with bra straps hanging down and vintage tuxes,ā she says. āI want to be part of that; so maybe Iāll just write mysteries from now on.āĢżĢż
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